DOES IT HAVE TO END JUST LIKE THAT

‘He deserves to die they all deserve to’ , it was all over in the air ,the lips , the writtings ,  on social media and on print media. The feeling was ectastic after news broke out tht one makaburi was as they could say , a thing of the past . A man who labelled himself an enemy of the state and a friend to distaste. Though i never liked him re his contemptuous approach in his view of humanity, i for once want to view him/it from a human being perspective- that i am . Did he deserve to die , just like that?
  We all sometimes sit back to think , that though we all like to go to heaven none wants to die. Unfortunately we must make that cut , we all must die but before our time is due we keep wondering how it will be like , what gap will we leave behind. What impact will our departure leave behind. How will the news of your demise be met by all and sundry. Will it be a ululation by the same ‘kafiris’ that you thought never deserved to live? Will you find even a single soul that will reminisce the good moments you shared who will atleast wholeheartedly say adios .Though we have to die ,we all wish to literally rest in peace .
  It takes me back a few days ago i was seated in class during the day preparing for exams when sound of gunfire rent the air in the cbd . We peeped through the windows and it was mayhem as people rushed out of terror. When there was calm , we rushed to the streets like kenyans that we were only to find thugs shot down by police. As much as most people felt it was rightfull to dismiss them out of their breath , i felt they never deserved to die like that. As they were trashed to the back of their pickup , i overheard one spectator shout ‘kufeni kabisa ‘ like he felt it befitted them. Like that human being i want to be or rather pretend to be , i couldnt within my mind withstand hearing a fellow being saying that about another who is devoid of a soul.
people die , natural deaths , deserving or not ,its the path we have to take but for once it would only piss me pointing a gun to my fellow being (police or thug), and acting the judge and the jury. If only there was a way before execution to give them time atleast they can make peace with their God , i would take that . Unfortunately such ways can only be a preventive measure , like arrest them beforehand and judge them.
Its so unfortunate that the state of security is a bitch , yeah its been politicised. Politics is the leeway for insecurity , theft ,radicalisation and such. To have such people around solely means the breeding grounds of these vices is pampered rather than tampered with early enough. Executing them at mature levels only spuns hatred and raging tribal wars .
As a human being i only pray that it doesnt end like that for them state enemies. There must be a way , there should be a way i don’t know which , but that which will help them listen to the voices of positivity within them and they can change for the better.
It saddens me also , few days ago this guy was cut into pieces as he attended a burial ceremony at his home .  Reason , a few years ago he was a criminal who terrorised people ,who killed and maimmed . At one time he had been brought to book with several counts of rape ,burglary, murder and few others counting to almost ten. But more than ten years later before he died he was reformed, he had left his past where it was and was leading that life full of normalcy like any other.  Sadly though what he had done those days was engrained in the hearts and minds of those whose normal  lives he had disrupted . That the only way for them was to send him via the same route he had sent the others – called death through brutality.
This last case , to me this guy actually got his time to make peace with God. Over all this period he must have done a little soul-searching and maybe repented his sins that had brought so much agony to others . But still , just like makaburi and the other thieves they never deserved to die ,just like that they would have been better citizens had they been given an opportunity to live on-this i believe.

All the way from where creation started – the kisii highlands ,kisii county have a blessed sunday and nice week.  #gbakora

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FOR WHAT ITS WORTH

I find myself in that idle mode ,like you guys sometimes think when i write something lengthy or boring . So in that same spirit i want to do that again for one last time or say before i take a break . If only i could use this time am taking to write in doing something worthy or maybe bury my head into books .
Talking about books , ‘for all its worth’ is all about sacrifices i want to make so as i can concentrate for an exam and semester am looking forward to. Just like days gone am not new to this sacrifice thing for books . For instance,i used to love football , i still do it today only difference is i liked it with my feet those days and i use my eyes and emotions nowadays. Just like human and animal conflict in our national parks , i realised as a kid football was encroaching into my study territory and so i decided to forego football. No regrets though because even if i had followed that dream and became a footballer , i still wouldnt be at that level like ronaldo ,rooney ,van persie but then again i wouldnt fall short of the capabilities of messi , yaya toure and all the other worse footballers.
For those who know me well , understand that i once sacrificed my job for school but it was never worth it and so i had to sacrifice that school again . Though it has crossed my mind to quit my job again on several occasions , this time it won’t happen , i ‘d rather use my time wisely and this is how :
  One, am parting ways with watching football ,arsenal has never given me an answer during an exam , all its done is raise my emotions a day prior to an exam. All the sacrifices i have made to watch those games including missing classes and switching my phone off when our game is crumbling, i would rather inject them into studying. So soon , no heartbreaks no cash-loss that i leave to some of my friends who will never watch a game but who brag how fans they are , the akina izo type that don’t own a tv but spend time on twitter so they can be relevant amongst us.
   Second , am not quitting social media but just giving it a well deserved break from whatsapp to twitter to facebook. That doesn’t mean i will not be logging into facebook each day to see how my friends are doing, i don’t want to miss reading maina talking about football whereas all he knows is volleyball or his crazy jokes he posts every minute like an idler which he is.
   I don’t also want to miss  juma talk about ogling and his ujaluo like he is flying only to meet him in the streets,with his hands full of grease and oil . I also would like not to miss reading julie’s updates about having a moment with jesus in the kitchen only reminding me of friends like kip who only read about a kitchen during his homescience classes. Oh , and her complicated english which i doubt she understands the meaning thus making her readers waste time in dictionaries.
   What i will miss though is to comment on peoples updates like ‘i feel like dying ‘, to which i will say ‘r.i.p’.  And such like ‘oh its over’, to which i will assume its the day that is over. To those updates like am in love only few days and people are like oh hell i was played, oh what a nasty break up and i wish i knew . Updates that i always feel demand stupid comments . I will also miss pointing out spelling mistakes that i would go back to the dictionary and use it against you.
And before i forget i will miss sharing my political views that have actually made me more friends than foes.
Finally if i did all this sacrifices and put this time in my books in the next 2 months i will come back more determined to piss you off , but for now , for all its worth imma give this sacrifices a shot.

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I WAS NEVER A TRIBALIST

I was born and raised in a society that embraced all tribes and cultural believes . We lived with all tribes irrespective of our varying customs and beliefs that we learnt the art of accomodation for all. This explains the diversity of languages that i can understand or rather speak no matter how little but that which can help me “borrow water”.
Things were not so bad those days as matters tribalism are concerned. From being sent to mama akinyi to mama njeri to mama nyaboke , our parents never taught us to avoid particular tribes based on something they believed about them. They taught us like they were visionaries of which they were to help us live in peace with each other.
I was taught that everyone was a brother nomatter where they came from .I went to school with friends from various tribal regions , from waseka to wambui to bichang’a to ogama, we had no boundaries . I went to church with all, at no point would we find our selves seated in a corner speaking mother tongue with others in their corners speaking theirs , we didnt have such circles.
Maybe i didnt know much those days ,or maybe there was tribalism and my eyes were not wide open enough then or maybe, it was not as rampant as it is today.
I have seen youths on social media calling each other tribalists, much still , i have seen those labelled tribalists hitting back saying they are better off than others. This to me only clears the doubts that most of us are tribalists , the difference is the degree of the vice in us. I want to see one with a clear conscience stand up and say , am not a tribalist, just like we weren’t on our younger days.
I respect all tribes and so does everyone else but with age , i have learnt to understand what it means to come from one tribe and not the other. From university to the workplace and to the place i reside. Hearing my landlord not wanting a certain kind of tribe , my feeling is , i wish i had my own place to accomodate the unwanted . Thats just how it starts.
At no one point in my younger ages did i hear such tribalistic qoutations. Times have changed and so has people. Our politicians have suceeded in tearing us apart in their campaigns to lead this country. Politics has killed it all. That a common citizen can declare that he or she can never be led by a certain tribe just tells it all.
When only a single tribe gets the cream in our workplaces you are left with no other option but to think ” i wish there comes a boss who is ,luo , kikuyu , kamba” and bla bla bla as long as he turns the tables on our/ my favour. And we still are not tribalists?
I have gone to schools that have pillars made of tribalism where workers canvass in mother tongue like its ‘home’. Where if you don’t speak their language you remain irrelevant to the code of conduct in their offices. Schools that have hired incompetent staff like at one time i had to spend a week to clear from school only to be told it wasnt necessary to.
Its not our wish that we have turned to be tribalists from the clergy to all, but its the air we breathe each day. We can deny it being a fact but you realise how sad it is when you come by it. When you are tired and in a bus going home and the makanga speaks in mother-tongue and when you ask what he means he replies with the same. When you go to an office and its mothertongue , in churches situated in towns . When politicians moreso the high ranking would give a whole speech in mother tongue. When a luo can’t own a house in the interior parts of nyeri and a kikuyu in ahero.
Thats when you fear the worst ,  when everyone labels the other a tribalist while hiding his in his pants. And people still think rwanda didnt start like us. The only thing holding people back is fear , fear of the unknown , sorry the known- remember 2007? But do people think it won’t happen again, we wish so. Its the end of the times , ever read the bible something like wars, diseases as a sign of the end ? It is written , we are just the agents brewing it so that it may come to pass. The most important thing to do about it is to pray , that the effects or outcome of our tribalist acts will not be seen during our days.
How i pray that the hands of time would take us back to our younger days so that we could sort out things . All we can do now is cherish those days before but fear for the future unless our present is miraculously cleansed of its tribal stains. I want a better tommorrow , i can’t tell if am a tribalist , if we all are but what am cock sure of ,  i was never a tribalist.

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kenya@50

I have never felt more kenyan than during the commemoration of our 50 years of independence. I personnally have never attended a state function before other than the day in highschool where i joined the school choir so as to go sing and dance for kibaki in return for loaf and soda .So , the eve to jamhuri day i was more than eager to attend 50 years of black colonialism.I wanted to be part of this day , i wanted to stand tall in my pride for my country but not the leaders.
The day was here, woke up early to take my phone for charging due to power loss.That kenya at 50 , an electric post was hanging on the poles so kenya power had to switch off for 3 days.I took a shower but it started raining heavily ,i didnt have second thoughts come rain come shine.I just had to atttend this ,i left hurriedly ofcourse with a novel incase things turned boring.At immediately 9 i was in the stadium, at the gate
the security team told me to remove my cap and unzip my jacket like they read my previous status updates on facebook and thought i posed a threat to the government.
I sat directly opposite the podium ,it was still early , there was some background music by roger whittacker ,made me so proud as i hummed along ” every city has its dawn , but everybody liveth has one place where he was born and mine is kenya, so warm and wild and free” , i held my right hand to my chest and sung my heart out.It was my proudest moment as i sung for my nation.

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#theBAKORAH novels

I love reading novels and not just any novels but am in love with sydney sheldon’s books.There is much in his books that create a vivid picture of the real life that though its a creation of his mind, you become a slave of his books.

So , this week i read yet another of his books – the doomsday conspiracy. The first sentence i went into reading this book made me realise i was into a sleepless night or rather nights .

  It talks in leaps and bounds about intelligence services and their execution of their duties and the conspiracies that come with their day to day activities.For instance i felt like someone somewhere was digging into my life and ever since i’ve never used the same route home thanks to the book.It made me nervous that everyone to me seemed like i spy and for once i felt like i wanted to be one but unfortunately though if i had to be one , then i had to serve the current government of which am a massive hater.
  One thing i learnt is the work of the intelligence service that to me had a big influence on last year’s elections. That to cause unnecessary tension to the people to influence them ,is one of the things they are hired to do.

  I also learnt a few things about the signs they use day in day out in their work. Of the unfortunate things i learnt is the absence of information of the whereabouts of those intelligence servicemen who don’t make the cut outta the trainining facilities.This made me shudder for the fear of the unknown incase i joined the services but did’nt make the cut.

   This book also talks about UFO , short form for unidentified flying objects,this being the core plot of the book. It talks about a world wide conspiracy by world governments to not or to hide the percieved existence of external terrestrial bodies that seem more intelligent than ours.This secret is all about avoiding anxiety and fear among the inhabitants on earth. It talks about people who had witnessed a flying saucer that was thought to have come from external bodies, being followed and killed by secret agencies.

  It sent me to th internet to try and figure out whether really there is a planet out there that actually supports human life that is widely inhabited by more intelligent creatures than the best we have in this world.

  The story about ufo’s is one of the secrets that has widely been kept by our governments. Scientists have had the chance to research on the flying objects that are thought to have been sent to spy on planet earth but less has been reported to the inhabitants. In my reading i thought it was all about the fantasies of the writter but the internet had too much to tell.

Through my reading i realised that whatever is said is kinda true but to my astonishment , this information is better be left to few people as possible to avoid panic among we the inhabitants of earth.

It os not just a story , it aint a fantasy , it seems true that apart from planet earth and its intelligence , there lies another planet out there that harbours more intelligence services that has since sent shudders across all governments in the world , that they unanimously think its out to destroy planet earth.

I wish i was a spy.

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GOODBYE 2013

2013 has had its highs and lows,we’ve met challenges here and there but we have triumphed over them.

I say sorry to those i hurt , it was never my mish . Whatever i meant was the best for you, hurting you was the case of a sad letter to the wrong address.I thought it was best thats why i say sorry.

Whenever i didnt pick your calls and you were so in need then, i was in class and my phone was in silent mode i couldn’t hear you call. When you were struggling and i was the only one who would help but didnt pick your calls ,i was in a meeting and i couldn’ t excuse myself am sorry. After class, after the meeting i couldn’t call back i never had the credit .You struggled all alone ,you suffered when i could not help. Am sorry for 2013.

You sent me a text but i could not reply, you wanted my help but i had none ,.I just wish you could understand . I wish you knew how many friends i called to help me help you in vain. When i sent you a simple text saying “i can’t help”, its because i did not have the time to explain to you by text how it pained me to say sorry i cant help.Please forgive me for 2013.

When you wanted us to meet am not the type to dissapoint. I was so prepared to meet you .You should know i had put measures incase our meeting went late that you could be dropped home. You should know that i paid for the services in advance which ofcourse was non refundable. I was so eager to meet you only for the lecturer to organise a cat for that day that i couldnt afford to miss . Not that you are less important , i treasure you but am so sorry i couldnt make it.Please forgive me for 2013

During the exams you looked at me with those “please tell me” , eyes. I know its uncouth for me to give you answers during an exam , but as a friend i could kill just for you.When you looked at me and showed me the gesture and whisphered “no 4”, i had the same problem and waited for an answer for that number four. After the exam you were so disgusted with me , thats how i also felt , i also had waited for an answer in vain. Its just that i couldn’t explain it tou you, i carried the hatred on my own shoulders , i wish you could have understood me ,i wish you would have known that when you said no 4, i thought you wanted to give me the answer.Please forgive me for 2013.

When you asked me out, i gave you a damn excuse about school. I let you judge me but no it was not school , my parents had wanted to talk to me urgently. I couldnt dissapoint them , i couldn’t dissapoint gou too but blood was always thicker .I couldn’t avoid ,i would have wished to know what you would have done if you were in my shoes. Sorry for 2013.

That day we disagreed i talked rudely to you , i abused you, i made you feel unworthy, i made you believe you were nothing before my eyes.No , you meant alot to me just that it was that day , that f**ckin day and you were the only one i could ease my pain on. You never knew though that i was late to work for the first time and it was not my wish , the bus had broken down on my way to work. My boss could not hear anything from me and he sent me away . I was so afraid , i wanted the job so badly incase you needed my help any time.Please forgive me for2013.

At your wedding you wanted me to be close. You wanted a hand as you took your vows but i did not make it .I was overwhelmed but happy for you, just that i dont want to dwell in excuses.I cant make it up to you i know but hope you will find it in you heart.Forgive me for 2013.

I got your text when you said goodnight. I know you wanted to get my reply so badly.What you don’t know though , it had been a tough day and i was damn tired ,but then that never stopped me from replying . Unfortunetely though i had written a text and tgought i had pressed the send button but lo i hadnt.I stayed up late waiting for your reply in vain and eventually slept on the couch waiting . I woke up in the morning and got your texts saying i didnt care. I never understood till i checked my sent items thats when i realised but thought you never  deserved an answer because you had already judged me .Let 2013 go.

We may have been misunderstood, we may have been let down in 2013, its not their wish its not our wish.We stayed up late , we fought losing battles for the sake of our friends and family. We disagreed , we went above our means just to make others feel the warmth of caring friend , parent and partner. Everyone deserves to be forgiven for 2013.

BLESSED 2014 TO YOUUUUUUUU!

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the best ,worst, last and the dust

2013,is near to a close , and 2012 ended just the other day.2013 came with it the best the last as we approach 2014 and the worst we have encountered in this year .
The best day this year was definitely a God given opportunity to see this year to meet the challenges , to meet new people , new friends and new enemies.
The best text i received this year -numerous to be precise -“hey griffin am in total shit please lend me”, after not even speaking for months.
The best text i sent this year was a blank text hehe to avoid quarrels.
The best call was a one minute lecture to keep off a lady friend hehe and i had to listen without giving a word.
The worst feeling was when meeting friends , talking over the phone to a friend and they say give me 10 minutes and in return i give 15 and they come after 16 minutes and am gone.
The best day at work , the boss looked into my eyes and told me i dont want you to be bigheaded and i promised i will, ….he didnt ask will what?
My last day at work this year, the boss promised a party for us, due to the short notice nobody wanted to attend as pay back only for the boss not to come to work then people started complaining !” human nature”.
My worst day in class , the lecturer was looking for the class president and wanted volunteers and there being none i stood and took the opportunity , my acceptance speech went like” since there is none to take the post and since the dean has offered a cup of tea for the class president , i hereby take this opportunity to enjoy those priviledges”. After class one friend from another class after hearing that asked me infront of all the others ” kwani hiyo class yenu ilikosa mtu?” ,i resigned the next day.
After reading hard for one of my end year papers i entered the exam room only to see dust. ,I didnt know a thing there so i wrote a few answers and gave the paper to the lecturer and he asked “umemaliza?” and i said “wrong paper”, he asked why and i was gone.
The funniest comment i heard ,a friend told me during awedding this past week” i have heard since childhood that love is blind but this is the day i have proven ” whatever he meant i couldnt stop laughing.
My last training at work , on our way from field training with the trainer and three of us who were trainees and we are chatting and he asks ” any of you married ?” ,”yep “, “any kids ?” and one says he got six to which the trainer exclaims “you’ve been busy “, it couldnt get off my head as i kept laughing all the day.
My best day ,weekends which ofcourse are the my most private days , taking time to do what i got to do.
Best event , went to kitale to attend a friend’s wedding and as we approached the podium to give our present to the bride and groom the mc was like ,” watu wa nairobi wako na tabia mbaya ni haraka haraka tu , rudi huko tutawaita “,  we took a few steps backwards and he said “simameni hapo, tee-chay(dj), wekako mukangala wakuche wakidance”, hehehe the dancing was dope one of my most rigid friends juma was flapping his hands as he walked to which everyone burst out laughing ,i left the line to go pick a call.
  Funniest story , this guy at work took a loan and on the way home he went to a local pub then took this call-girl to his home. When she was off to the bathroom he took the cash, drilled the mattress and hid the cash there. He left her at home the next day and left for work, in the evening he met the door wide open with none in the house and the mattress account empty. Since that day henceforth as he turned on the bed and felt something  protruding from the mattress making him uncormfortable be it the sheets he thought it was the money.
  Fascinating experience , i was sent to go sell a few items from work and after weighing the items the guys tells me we are deducting this to pay the expenses that we encountered. They then told me all those bosses that sent you have already ” eaten ” aaaand ” hii ni nairobi”,and as i took the money back they looked at me and i waited one of them to utter a word and none did then i realised” kweli ni nairobi”
  Worst interview , after the class interview which i had actually passed we were having a chat with my fellow interviewees about the salary and one guy says ” 10k aint bad ” i felt i was at the wrong place and when the interviewer came and asked who got the balls to go for the practicals first i couldnt let him finish the sentence before accepting to go in first.
My best friends , all those who i owe cash, they always call me day in day out to check on me ,. I hate you but i don’t wanna lose you , u guys mean alot.
My worst friends all those guys i have to check on each day to make sure nothing bad has happened to them that may render them incapable to pay me back my debts.
Worst movie , march 4th online vote streaming.
My best decision , voting for my hero this year.
The most welcome person into my house is God , friends will plunge you into death.
One of my achievements being almost through reading sidney sheldon’s novels ,the latest being “morning ,noon and night!”
“Allow the morning sun to warm your heart when you are young and let the soft winds of noon cool your passion , but beware the night for death lurks there,waiting , waiting, waiting ” Arthur rimbaund.
Happy new year to you all as i write the next.

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